CAR BOOT SALE

I went to the car boot sale
At the racecourse one fine June
I had nothing else better to do
On a boring afternoon
There were cars and stalls and people obsessed
As far as the eye could see
But there wasn't a fucking horse in sight
At the sale of the century

Oh me lads, you should've seen them gannin'
Millin' around like flies 'round shite
With no real sense of plannin'
Hagglin' and fussin', hustlin' and bustlin'
In search of the Holy Grail
Some folks' rubbish is other folks' gold
At the car boot sale

There were people arriving while others were leaving
A lot of them pushing prams
I hope the ones that had just been bought
Were the unoccupied ones
Amidst the clamour you could hear a man cry
"Everything fifty pence!"
But you wouldn't have bothered to look in his box
If you had any sense

There were second-hand clocks and watches
With a history to tell
They might have been worth a fortune
If they told the time as well
Broken toys, torn books, scratched records
Electrical goods of every degree
Finding they don't work when you get home
Is your only guarantee

There was Mister Softee ice cream
Next to a burger van from Hell
In a cone or a tub with monkey's blood
Next to people with no sense of smell
I was trying to find one of those
Backward-facing baseball caps
'Cos no matter how hard I've looked
I've only seen forward ones in the shops

So if you're bored or depressed
With the National Lottery
Come along for a grand day out
With the shell-suit family
Grab a piece of the action
Of this latest national craze
Rogues by the score amid bargains galore
At your local car boot sale

Oh me lads, you should've seen them gannin'
Millin' around like flies round shite
With no real sense of plannin'
Hagglin' and fussin', hustlin' and bustlin'
In search of the Holy Grail
You might find it for a couple of quid
At the car boot sale

Gary Miller)